Two kinds of people

 

 

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There are always two kinds of people in this world. Let’s know them.

 

• There are two kinds of people. People who are seriously funny and people who seriously think they are funny

• There are two kinds of people. People who love the rain and people who get wet in the rain

• There are two kinds of people. People who love classics, movies and books and then who read them and see them again and again

• There are two kinds of people. Who read books in Amazon kindle and who love the smell of new books

• There are two kinds of people. People who are hopelessly romantic and who have boyfriend/girlfriend.

• There are two kinds of people. People who are scared of ghosts and people who have seen them.

• There are two kinds of people. People who love poetry and people who love money and fame.

• There are two kinds of people. People who are special and people who are special, cause they make you feel special.

• There are two kinds of people. Who love writing poems and people who feel them.

• There are two kinds of people. Who are samurais and who are ninjas.

• There are two kinds of people. Who speak truth and then them who think everybody deserves happiness.

• There are two kinds of people. Who love the sun and people who love air-condition.

• There are two kinds of people. People who think love happens only once and people who actually fall in love.

• There are two kinds of people. Who love to watch Cricket and who watch IPL.

• There are two kinds of people. People who get gifts in their birthdays and people who get notifications in their Facebook page.

• There are two kinds of people. People who believe in perfection and who love cloudy sky in a summer afternoon.

• There are two kinds of people. Those who go to Paris in their vacation and those who read 7 novels in 10 days.

• There are two kinds of people. People who make love and people who just have sex.

• There are two kinds of people. People who have seen Taj Mahal in a full moon night and people who did not.

• There are two kinds of people. Who love eating chocolates and who have diabetes.

• There are two kinds of people. Who rule countries and kingdoms and people who fought and died for its freedom.

• There are two kinds of people. Who love their privacy and those who are lonely.

• There are two kinds of people. Who love reading stories and who love stories.

• There are two kinds of people. Who believe in God, religion and spirituality and people who know Galileo Galilei and Nicolaus Copernicus.

• There are two kinds of people. People who can swim and the sailors

• There are two kinds of people. People who keep their promises and who are politicians.

• There are two kinds of people. People who love tea and people who like other hot or cold beverages.

• There are two kinds of people. Who are non-vegetarians and people who vaguely remember the work of Sir Jagadish Chandra Bose.

• There are two kinds of people. Who are scientists and who have Ph.D degrees with a job.

• There are two kinds of people. People who are poets, writers and artists and people who did not want to be them.

• There are two kinds of people. People who are afraid of dark and people who are heartbroken.

• There are two kinds of people. People who love challenges and people who smile at them and slowly walk away.

• There are two kinds of people. People who speak English and people who know other languages.

• There are two kinds of people. People who love football (Soccer) and people who know about other sports

• There are two kinds of people. People who are serial killers and then there was Jack the Ripper.

• There are two kinds of people. People who read Sherlock Holmes and people who read other works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

• There are two kinds of people. People who believe we are the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, and people who know, in the ancient world, somewhere a spaceship crash landed with a bunch of aliens.

• There are two kinds of people. Who read Ravindranath Tagore’s work in Bengali and people who don’t know Bengali.

• There are two kinds of people. Who know Shakespeare and people who can recite him anytime, anywhere.

• There are two kinds of people. Who love to debate and people who are sore losers in arguments.

• There are two kinds of people. Who are alcoholic, womanizers and don’t give a damn kinds and then them who secretly hate their guts.

• There are two kinds of people. People who are terrorists and people who follow Islam.

• There are two kinds of people. People who believe in true love and people who know truth and love.

• There are two kinds of people. Friends and school friends.

• There are two kinds of people. Who never could ask out their childhood crush and the luckiest people on the earth.

• There are two kinds of people. Who use instagram and who use snapchat.

• There are two kinds of people. People who remember their school days with joy and sorrow and people who are in school.

• There are two kinds of people. People who read comics hidden inside their text books and people who have to go to work, everyday.

• There are two kinds of people. People who are achievers and people who want to build a time machine which can travel to future.

• There are two kinds of people. People who will read this blog and people who won’t.

 

(Disclaimer: All the above are not copied from internet, rather they are thoughts of this idle brain. So have fun and comments if you please)

 

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Story of ………….

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He said, “If we weren’t from this Indian subcontinent, our story would have been Different. At least Paris had Helen for a while, with him. They drank wine, made love and lived their moments.”

And he said, “I lost my kingdom, brothers, soldiers and wives, for you. And yet I never forced myself upon you, promised you everything I’ have and always been rejected for years by you.

Tell me, do you only see my ego, arrogance and lust? Don’t you see the love?”

And Ravan(A) threw the ‘The Iliad of Homer’ to Sita and went to his last war with Ram(A). Leaving her behind, ‘Guilty and Speechless’.

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The Fall

 

I had a fall. I had to fall.

Couldn’t fall back, as I’ve to stand tall

A tell a tale, before the nightfall

As it ends, how we know all

 

I was trying to stall my great fall

Dear o dear, haven’t I heard the call?

Of all the reality, dreams above all

With all insanity, I am drawn to a brawl

 

And I fell on my face, fall flat after all

Pulled myself up, bloody nose I growl

Wounded and hounded, like a fighter Gaul

And then, slowly and painfully, I took a stroll

 

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Cat and Dog

 

 

 

There’s a cat runs in my mind and the dog chases it
As the cat runs out of mind, the dog runs out in the street
So it happens every night, the cat creeps into my mind
And the dog goes right after, as they play seek and hide.

The cat with glowing eyes, leaves it’s footprints behind
The poor dog chases every night, to see her go out of sight
And the dog whispers himself, one day he shall make it right
He won’t give up till he catches the her, one of these nights.

But the cat comes back every night, to run in my mind
To be chased by the dog, until she looks back and find
There’s no dog chasing the her anymore, inside my head
More than one way to skin a cat, as it to be done and said.

 

Words

It wasn’t long ago, I was all about me

Then I saw you, and it wasn’t about me anymore.

As everything now turned you, wherever I see

Losing my mind, over my lost heart for sure.

 

I’ve felt that before, only never felt this strong.

I sit hours for nothing and answers are all gone.

Hollow eyes and empty mind, but I ‘vent got it wrong

I am so unsure, but I guess I am not anymore alone.

 

So you found the forbidden door unlocked, unanswered

And you walked straight into my head.

To find the other forsaken door that leads to my heart

But the path, my love, has no end and long dead.

 

Nonetheless, I let you into this undone and unseen

With that naughty smile and determined pair of eyes.

I knew, you’ll always find your ways to reach in

As you already belong in there and to you, it’s no surprise.

A bus, one night of december, Delhi.

The sensational and brutal gang rape case which occurred on 17^th dec night right in the heart of the capital has shaken this country. I have read it in the paper, saw it in the news, but to be frank I am not really shaken or became speechless. Make no mistake; I do have my sympathy and condolences for the deceased girl and her family. But having said that I also feel this issue has drawn the undivided attention of the nation, because it took place in our National capital right under the nose of the PM, CM and all other politicians and police. This is not the first rape case in Delhi and it won’t be the last, but the gruesome nature of this case also is one of fact that makes this case an important one.

Now let’s see why I wasn’t impacted by this incident. Simply because I am aware of the ground realities.

If we ignore the sex crime statistics occurring in metros and concentrate on the rural India.  Everyday thousands of rape and sexual assaults are happening in those areas. Let that be the systematic rapes by Indian army in Kashmir valley and Northeastern provinces, or the brutal gang rapes of dalit and lower caste women in Up, Bihar, Chhattisgarh, MP or Rajasthan. No one can turn a blind eye about all the incident came to lights which are happening in the other part or rural India.

Protesters were pushing it hard for the strong laws against rape. Let me tell you, there are more cases of murder occurs than rape in a calendar year in our country and we all know what is the punishment for the first degree murder. I have my doubts if the rape laws are strengthening will they be really effective enough!!!

Call me male chauvinist, call me sexist, but I stand by my point. The safeties of you girls are in your hands. Yes we are waiting for the change of mind that provocative clothes and attitude can’t be the reason for rape, yes we are waiting for this country to be a safer place for women, we are waiting for our law and order department to be more competent.

But till then, girls, you have to be cautious. If only modern society and thinking could stop rape, USA wouldn’t be topping this chart. You have to be cautious; you have to restrict your activity. Simply because this nation is not competent enough to save always and also doesn’t want to be harmed anyway.

So as a brother, boyfriend or father when we try to restrict your clothing and activity, don’t bark at us saying we are sexist. Yes there are laws and yes the rapist might get punished for their deeds but we don’t want you to get raped in the first place.

 

Rape is the oldest crime against humanity. Let that be 1942 Berlin massacre, 1971 Bangladesh atrocities (according to statistics 90,000 women were raped, that’s just a govt. figure, Till date the highest cases of rape reported), Civil wars in African nations, everywhere this occurs repetitively. Few of them are so gruesome in nature that the Delhi case might sound like a normal one.

So girls, don’t generalize we men as rapists, we are also the protectors. If we cannot keep you safe on the roads at least we try to keep you safe inside our houses. I know it’s so tough to digest but we want you to be safe rather than seeing the rapist punished after the committed this heinous crime till we can give a safer road to walk on.

 

Ani and An Apple

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

 

 

 

 

 

Apple is a fascinating fruit. From the very beginning of this world till now this fruit has played an integral part in all the greatest stories of mankind. Turn the pages of bible, and you see how Adam and Eve chewed the apple from the ‘tree of knowledge’ and ahem… After that they chewed something else (and blamed it all on that poor snake).

Now, if we take an instance from the mythology, the Greek mythology. As we all know the phrase ‘apple of discord’ and most of us know the origin of this phrase.

The ‘Goddess of discord’ Strife wasn’t invited in the marriage of Peleus and Thetis, so she played a little prank on the three goddess, ‘Hera, Athena and Aphrodite’ by throwing a golden apple to them and saying the fairest will have the apple. And this, literally jacked up the life of Prince Paris, when he points out Aphrodite to be the fairest.

Well I have no idea why the goddess hooked the prince up with the married lady (Helen of Troy) and which fool actually accept the chance of running away with the wife of someone like Menelaus (Shouldn’t have picked someone double of his size). Any way that golden apple proves too costly for Troy and Paris. Helen saved herself from Menelaus, showing her own apples (Lured by his cheating wife, I Swear, we men will always be men!).

If we look at the history, the apple discovered the Gravitational theory… errrrr… I mean, Newton did, when he saw an apple fell from the tree (I believe it was a tree from his garden, that raises the question, did he not see any apple falling from the tree earlier? What took him so bloody long to discover gravity?).

Now in my childhood I was thoroughly confused who actually discovered the gravity, Newton or the apple? I mean I always felt like giving the credit to the apple. It did all the hard work, it fell from the tree, and Sir Isaac Newton was just sitting on his easy chair, isn’t it??!!. Anyway, hard luck for Mr. Apple.

Then came Steve Jobs with his apple, and by god it was some apple. I bet he liked apples a lot. That’s why the logo is a half eaten apple not just an apple.  Who knows probably he used to get ideas while eating apple (Did Isaac Newton also discovered the gravitational theory while eating that apple which fell down on him? Again who knows but most likely, apples are meant to be eaten aren’t they?)      

I know people, you are thinking why on earth this lad is so concerned about apples? Well let me tell you why, because I am going to use this apple as a metaphor in this blog of mine. Yes! That right, I have just started. Alright, I know 3/4^th of my blog viewers have already closed the page, rest please be patient, I am coming to the point.

Let me tell you a secret of my life, whatever in my life I plan, I think to do or I want to do, that never happens and I mean anything and everything. Let it be the most trivial thing or the most important one, but as I think of doing it, something, some very powerful source just spill the water on my whole plans. But queerly enough, they somehow work out fine, not in all cases but somehow things turn better then what I anticipate. But that is not what I want!

I mean look at my life, the wrong man, at the wrong places, in the wrong times, with the wrong jobs, hooking up with the wrong girls and doing all sort of wrong things. If there is a tree of opportunity and that’s an apple tree and the fruits of success are apples. Then I am standing right under it, trying to pluck the sweetest, juiciest and biggest apples which are hanging way above the tree. I am trying all the known tricks in the book to pluck them; big sticks, throwing rocks, trying to climb the tree and using a ladder to get my hands reach to those branches. But all in vein, always all my efforts normally go wasted. So you see me, sitting under the tree, dejected, disappointed; cursing the tree, cursing the apples, cursing myself.

And then, all of a sudden, an apple falls from the tree, right on my lap. It’s just as I wanted, big, juicy and sweet. But I don’t want it now. Why? Why because when I wanted them, when I wanted them so bad, I couldn’t get my hand on single one of them. I don’t want a consolation prize from my fate which keeps depriving me, deceiving me by all possible ways. I want to have the fun of plucking those apples by myself. I am not satisfied with one and definitely not satisfied the way I get it. So I keep trying and trying. Thus I keep failing and failing.

An unusual and unparalleled but everlasting battle continues between me and my fate.

That’s the story so far of ‘Ani and An Apple’.

A rainy night of December

It’s a story about me and her. Back in 2004.

It’s the time when I was in college, young, athletic, mean and strong. When I knew it all, I used do all things that I want to do in this world. And then there was her, awfully cute like a baby doll, like a little angle in the face of the earth. She was the daughter of my mom’s friend, Anita aunty, actually a junior of my mom in her college days.

They were good friends, my mom and Anita aunty; there was always a talk of marriage between me and her daughter, really lame, as I always thought. I always hated her, puffy cheeks, baby face; plump her, spoilt brat, always used to find a way to irritate me. I was 22 then, she was hardly 17.

Anita aunty and her husband Nilesh uncle use to visit us quite often, with her of course, their beloved daughter, their only child. Almost everyone was so fond of her, mom, dad, all. Mostly all, except me. I always looked at her as an extremely spoilt brat of rich parents. Airhead, always jumps around, stupid and dreamy and most of all irritating. Just like typical teenage girls.

As her school was on the way to my college, often I had to bear the request of picking her up from her place and drop her at the school. Sometimes I had picked her up from the school to home as well. I always hated that and she always enjoyed it.

It was the month of December. As my mom and Anita aunt, both were big time fans of temple and puja, always use to go around the state and sometimes even the whole nation to attend all the religious functions; they were to leave for a place around 300 km away. They did not want to take her as she was too much trouble. They punished me, for nothing. They left her in my house with me as a nanny. Whole day, she made my life hell. In every two minutes she wanted chocolate or ice cream, every 2^nd hour demanding to take her for a movie, jumping around in the whole house, speaking loud in her mobile with her useless friends.

Somehow the whole day past. It was evening then. It started raining, heavily. Well I don’t know what the connection between girls, rains and thunders are.  Every time it rains they run to dance in it and every time it thunders they run back. That was pretty much happening, on the first floor, in the balcony of my room. I was working on my laptop and watching her and cursing myself, her and the rain.

And then I looked at her, for a long time. She never used to dress properly. That day also, she was a wearing a white pajama and a thin light yellow top and I kind of knew that she didn’t wear anything under them. Then it happened. Guess a thunder bolt hit some tree nearby, and I heard the loudest cracking sound of my life. I ran towards the balcony and she ran straight at me. We almost collided to each other and her soft body sank into mine. She started crying instantly. I was scared if she was hit by the thunder or something, so I hold her and took a long look at her. Her clothes were not able to hide even one part of her body. Her breasts were firm and nipples were stiff, her naval so deep and as it went down further, her womanhood wasn’t really covered in those white, wet and soaked pajamas. I carried her in my arms to the bathroom, she was crying and shivering, after all it was a rainy December evening. I removed all her clothes and dried her up with a towel. I was seeing her since her childhood but never noticed how much she had changed, or should I say how much her body was changed. I carried her back to the room and gave her a shorts and t-shirt of mine. She was still crying, I tossed her on my bed.

And then the power was gone. The room was dark except the little light of the laptop screen. I shouted at her not go again and play in the rain and sat in front of my laptop. In reality, I wasn’t able to forget the way she looked in the bathroom without anything on her.

After a while, she got up from the bed, walked to me and jumped onto my lap. Wrapping her arms around my neck and hiding her face in my chest, she declared in a crying voice that the bed is too dark and the thunderstorms were really making her scared. I didn’t answer her, pretended to be busy in my work, or was I?

It was hardly 5 minutes and our lips were locked to each other. That was probably the longest kiss of my life, it was like forever. My hands were all over her, rubbing, pressing and caressing each and every part of her. Every bulge of her body was going through the intensive inspections of my fingers, again and again. I pulled off the t-shirt and the shorts, and she was sitting on my lap, just the same way I saw her in the hospital, the day she born. I slowly pushed my hands between her thighs and twitched, squeezed and explored her womanhood. I could see the shameful and painful expressions in her face and somehow I was enjoying a cruel, sadistic happiness. I did that till she begged me to stop. Then I lifted her and threw her in the bed and started kissing and biting every inch of her body. She felt like a soft stuffed toy with whom I wanted to play for ages. Her sweet moans and pleads were driving me mad. I was on top of her and it seemed both of our bodies were burning. Burning in passion and ecstasy.

I was around her, surround her and inside her. She bit my shoulder so hard, so hard that I felt that my shoulder was bleeding. Probably that was her last resort to suppress her scream. I was riding in her, slowly at first and then faster and harder. She was almost senseless; her teeth were clinching onto my shoulder. It was painful, but I knew it was nothing compared to what she was going through. Her cute face was full of sweats and tears, eyes were closed so firmly.

The time lost its counts. After a long while, I slid down from top of her, it was a sense of emptiness, pureness.  She rolled on top of me. She was crying and asking me if I love her the way she does.

I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know…… what to do!!

Facebook & Lesbianism in India

I mean what is with the girls (especially Indian girls) now a days. As Facebook is growing on this country, seems like the girls are getting more lesbianish. I know that word is grammatically wrong but I don’t have any other words to describe this syndrome. Here are some comments I have read on girls Facebook profiles, mostly the comments are on their so called ‘PIX’ or on their wall. Check ‘em out…….

1)      OMG!! You look so cute, I love you

2)      Can’t biliv its you, muwaaaahhhh…

3)      Where did u tk tht pic?? ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

4)      You are the cutest!!!!!!! Plzzzz marry meeeee

These are the comments posted by girls on their friends’ pictures and profiles. Now tell me what am I suppose to understand from all these? That they are normal friends?? Or is it like a bunch girls hitting on another girl???

Is Facebook promoting lesbianism in India???

 

I am so confused. I could have consoled my mind thinking probably this is the 21^st century trend of girlies showing love to girlies. But how on earth they gonna justify their relationship status??? Janani ‘married’ to Srinidhi? Aishwarya ‘committed’ to Asha? Saniya in an ‘open relationship with’ Divya, Fathima & Annie? That’s the scariest of the bunch. Hell sometimes it feels like the whole city turning into a lesbian circus. Now that hurts. Already in our so called culture the guys and the girls have no freedom to even date properly. Counted beautiful chicks and countless losers have already made the scenario of this country an uncertain one. And now this???? Lesbianism was never been a matter of taboo for Indian guys with few conditions applied.  I remember a funny incident of my friend Samar and his girl friend.

Samar’s gf: (Weeping) I am sorry Samar, I cheated on you last night.

Samar: What????? WTF????

Samar’s gf: Ya, but it was never my fault (Now crying).

Samar: (Red faced and clinched teeth) Tell me that bastard’s name…. TELL ME!! BITCH…

Samar’s gf: It’s my roomy Swati. She brought these CDs and we were watching them, I don’t know what got into her. She seduced me. AAAAAnnnnnn (Crying loud).

Samar: (With a relieved smile) That’s ok baby, don’t cry now… common. Now I can forgive you. If you just let me join you and Swati next time.

 

So you see we Indian men were never skeptical about lesbianism. We never had a problem watching one chick climb on another if only we are next one in queue. But looks like girls are all set to corner we guys and ready to do things by their own. Situation is very alarming and critical. Cause if a girl give her friend a friendly kiss, we call sweet. If she gives her a lesbian kiss, we call it sexy. And if a guy kisses his guy friend, we call it…………… YUCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!####@@@@@

 

Will You Be My Valentine?

They say you can’t find love but love finds you
I’ve been waiting so long, for that to come true.

Yet these arms are empty, this heart’s waiting forever
Till she finds me or till I find her.

I have nothing, but my love to give her
What if she comes by asking for diamonds and car?

It makes me so scared still I know,
When I will call you tomorrow.

With you everything’s going to be fine
So tell me princess, will you be my valentine?

Chinese whisper.

 

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Chinese whisper, I am sure a lot of people have played this game when they were mostly in their teens. I haven’t seen people playing this in college or elsewhere. This is a game of preteens and early teenagers. A very few people who don’t know about this game, let me give you a quick description of the game.

A few people will sit in a circle (more the people, more fun it is) and then someone will write a word or a sentence in a paper and whisper the same into the ear of the person sitting next to his/her left and the next person will pass it on. Thus when it completes the circle and the first person will hear it back, then he/she will reveal what was the exact word or sentence it was. The most important rule of this game is you can’t repeat once you whispered in someone’s ear and the person has to pass it on as he/she heard it. Often the words or the sentences get changed completely and into something hilarious.  

I have so many memories about this game. When we used play it the evening after power cut. Yes that time my city used to see 2 to 3 hours of power cut at daily basis. Mostly during the summer holidays we used to gather in someone’s terrace. We were a group of odd 10 girls and boys in our early teens.

I was about 15 then when I got the bad news. That I have myopia or I am short-sighted and will have to wear a power glasses. It was not so easy then for a teen to wear glasses as all his/her friends were all set to pull that poor chap’s leg by calling him/her a nerd. Life weren’t so simple then like the teens with glasses has now. I didn’t like it; my friends welcomed it their two arms open wide as they have someone make fun of. But anyway I had to accept it.

Then summer holidays again and we were playing Chinese whisper on the terrace of a friend’s house.. We were exactly 10 people there. Back then it was a strange feeling of teenage romance and sexual tension between girls and boys participants. It was in the peak that night as we came to know a friend Soham has asked out Puja, another group member of ours and she said yes to him.

We were in a good mood and almost celebrating with soft drinks and chips. There was a girl in our group, Lipi, she was kind of cute, little short and dusky. I knew she has a crush on me and I had a crush on her big sister Deepi, who was of course elder then me and also was the local heartthrob. For some unknown reason I always enjoyed a special attention from her sister and I loved it.  

So we were playing and chitchatting that night and then it was the time for our favorite game, Chinese whisper. So we all sat in a circle, with a candle lit in between. It was Lipi who was the first one to write down something on a paper and whisper it to the next person’s ear and the game started. When I heard it, well I was a teenager and I think no teenagers would like to hear these words. “He is looking like a nerd in those ugly glasses”. And I knew who that ‘He’ was referring to

I was enraged, furious and totally forgot about the game, it was almost a slap on my male ego. A girl whom I was so sure likes me and I don’t give a damn about is saying I am a nerd? Huh doesn’t she know that even her sister, her big sister, Deepi, the heart-throb of colony, even speaks to me in different tone? And who is she to comment anything like this?   I made a face and walked away from them. They were calling me back but I said I am thirsty, I need some water and I went down.

When I came back, the game was over and everyone was scattered around in the terrace. I was feeling a strange bitter taste in my mouth and I exactly knew how to fix it. Everyone was talking about Soham and Puja as they were the new couple now. Soham was in a belligerent mood and was telling us all that we should have patience and eventually all get our partners right in time.  

I intervened. It was a full moon night and I was already become a wolf-man with a wild rage, out for revenge. I walked to them and said I have a doubt if we all will find our partners. Everybody looked at me with a curious expression.

I chuckled, “well you know, someone like Lipi”.

“Why? What’s wrong with Lipi?” Shumi, her best friend barked at me.

“Well I don’t know but, I don’t think she can ever find a guy with her looks and dark complexion”,

I said it so bluntly that even I felt little uneasy. I knew precisely how much it hurts when someone comments on anybody’s appearance, and especially on a girl’s looks and complexion in front of a gathering

Unfortunately still in this part of the world, girls are praised and judged by their beauty and fair skin rather than their talents and virtues.

But my unjustified blind rage had already made me a racist of the worst kind. If the world has seen me that night, Simon Legree wouldn’t have go down as the most cruel and racist character in the history. Everyone else was looking at me with a dumb expression. I looked at her; she was looking nervous and was trying to smile. She managed to get a nervous smile in her face.

I went on, “look at her smile, she looks so dumb and ugly even when she smiles”.

This time she stopped smiling, I could clearly see the tears in her eyes, sparkling in the moonlight and slowly rolling down on her cheeks.

I spoke again, “I don’t know if she’s adopted or something, she looks nothing like her sister.”

She almost ran out of that place. I could hear she is running down in the steps. Slowly her best friend Shumi followed her and then everyone else started leaving. I was standing alone in the terrace.   I had a nasty, victorious smile on my lips. Gottcha. Attaboy Ani. :D. YES. Taught that B**** a lesson.

And then my attention fell on a piece of paper laying there.

Ah! I almost forgot we were playing Chinese whisper. That’s the piece of paper she might have written what she said about me. I picked that paper and started for home, there was not enough light to read it. As I started walking on the road, the power came back and the street lit up with streetlights.

I went near to a street lamp and took out the paper from my pocket. I felt a strong jolt, as if the earth moved out under my feet.

I could see what that piece of paper whispering to me, “You are looking so cute in those glasses”.

I am single and sad.

“I am single and happy”. I hear or see these words often, from someone or in someone’s status in Facebook or MySpace or Twitter. Are they? I don’t know.

A long tiring day, an almost dead man and a long dead soul, dragging his feet back home. Sitting naked all alone in a corner with a can of beer and his laptop singing ‘Hey you’ of Pink Floyd. That’s a life no guy wants. Eventually that’s the life it becomes in few years of service in bloody IT companies in any metro.

Drifted thousands of miles away from home long long ago, where even faces of the parents going blur in the mind. So he wants to live, try to find life in love and romance. And he finds himself all alone. No love comes by his way. Then he found it and lost it in few days. And again he found and lost it and it gets a routine. All of a sudden the routine even disappears.

Why we feel jealous, envious, when we see our ex partners, our old lovers, our school/college life crushes are happy, satisfied and blissful with their new partners, spouses or boyfriends. May be because of loneliness we have and they don’t. So we get green when we see them happy and find we are not. So we try to hide ourselves behind these words, “I am single and happy”. So we try to convince ourselves that it’s a better life because there’s no one to interfere into our lives. Often find behind that sense of freedom hiding a gloomy aloof creature. So we keep telling our friends what a ‘torture’ he/she was. But in the night when we switch off the lights and go to bed, we think of them so much and darkness seems so scary.

I am not happy. I am single… and SAD!

Lonely.

I was always a lonely a kid. Actually I am a lonely kid. I am sure that the people who know me are already tired of me whining about this. But that’s the truth, the ‘BITTER TRUTH’. When I was small, when I was in school, or even in college, I was so lonely. Doesn’t matter if I was surrounded be hundreds of people, l always felt I am alone, all alone. I didn’t know why it is so with me, but it was always that way. In my college I had like 1000 of friends and still I never felt that I have one friend I can share all my secrets or thoughts. I found it so girly, just like some teenage girl crying over for not having her soul sister or something. I always knew that by days past or as we grow older we tend to get lonelier. But in my case I feel I am the loneliest one in this earth.

This Deepavali, which is supposed to be the biggest festival of India, I was not celebrating. It’s not that I did not want to celebrate it, but it was because I had no one to celebrate with. I remember back in days how colorful my diwali used be. And yesterday I came back to place all alone, drinking away the night and thinking about the good old days. May be even the mother earth felt sad about it and it rained. I was standing in the balcony, drinking and letting the raindrops soothing me. I can give myself no assurance, weather teardrops were camouflaged in those raindrops or not.

 

I am not sure if it’s a problem with me mingling with people or people have problem with me. I was sure about myself and I still am. I know I can’t fight the time. Whatever I thought will be my driving force and I thought I will never run out of it, well life taught me another lesson. Not to take anything as granted. That’s why I am now all alone writing this entry in my blog. I am lonely because I choose to be lonely. because I feel it’s good to be lonely and I should not blame anybody for this situation. So here I am, learning to be all by myself in nation’s biggest celebration time. I truly feel that every one of you, and I mean it, every one of you out there, is lucky in your own away. But I am and remain unlucky. Always……..

Jealousy!!!

It was 3 o clock in the afternoon today, I had a heavy breakfast so wasn’t feeling that hungry till that time. But after 3 I suddenly got my appetite back, so I thought of heading to Sea Shell restaurant in mount road, precisely in Greams road. I tell you guys, if you really want to have a taste of real biriyani in Chennai, you should go there.

I am sure you are confused after reading the preface because it has no relation what so ever with the tittle of it. dear friends, there is a link, a deep link. so let me not try your patience anymore and come straight to the point.

For the very first time I have felt something so new. no, I didn’t mean that for the first time I was jealous. no, of course, I am no saint, I have been jealous about so many things before, I was jealous about so many people. but this time I felt jealous about something, which is purely different for me, may be not different for others. But for me, it is the first time.

So I was reached there by 3.30 pm. ordered a mutton biriyani and a mint lemon juice for myself, it’s always my favourite combo there. after ordering i was checking out the other people sitting in the restaurant and then eyes got glued to this cute college couple or to the girl to be honest. Fair in complexion, wearing a very loose top and a 3/4th jeans. The guy was alright, tall, dark and handsome. Where I was sitting from there I was only able to have a partial view of that girl, except occasionally when she was turning her face this way.

I kept staring at her and I was feeling so jealous. I was so jealous that i felt like pushing that guy out of that chair and sit with her. She was wearing such a loose top that her blue bra was visible,a pint of hair was brushing her cheeks and she was waving them off. The guy was showing her something in his mobile and she was giggling, may be some forwarded message. Almost everyone in the restaurant was looking at them, but they were so reluctant about that. Two lovebirds, it’s only two of them and the rest of the world is at their feet, that’s how it seemed. And I was getting plunged into jealousy, so much that i had to muttered myself, ” Come on, what is it with you? Have you gone nuts? It’s just another regular couple in restaurant.” I have seen so many couples in so many places, I never felt this way. I don’t know why today I felt this way and I was getting more jealous in every passing minutes.

I tried to refrain myself from thinking about it, questioned myself, why today I am feeling this way? Part of me answered, probably my loneliness were exposed brutally by their presence that it came out as envy. another part of me said “You too need someone who will hold your hands and giggle at your every lame joke”.Then again I looked at them, they were holding hands and was talking while looking at each others eyes. They were looking so cute.

I paid the bill, looked at my half eaten food, and stormed out of that place.

Just Friends…

 

Now it’s all over, we fell apart. So you have to ask me, “Can we still be friends?”

You want to play nice, you want to act wise, but you know broken heart never mends.

So you want to offer me a consolation prize, for the game we both played, but I lost.

The winner should leave with a winning note, so you took me, where once our path crossed.

 

 

Where once we met and promised to be together, forever. But promises are meant to be broken.

So now, as everything between us, turned into nothing; a few words though left unspoken.

But you don’t want to hear them, you are too blind to notice me, devastated and forsaken.

Standing in the rain and watching helplessly, as my beloved possession is snatched and taken.

 

 

So you touch my hand and ask me if I am ok, if I understand why I have to set you free.

“We will be friends, we will always be”, I know they are your last words to me.

Because you know, friends won’t be angry if you won’t call them before you sleep.

Because they won’t hold you anymore and won’t stop you go down and drown so deep.

 

 

I am telling you now, I am no friend of yours and you can forget it, as I will only refuse.

I never wanted a friend like you and I will never be in need of any, so don’t say it anymore.

All I ever asked for is your love and only so, don’t make the word friendship a dirty excuse.

And stop saying, “Can we still be friends? Only friends?”standing very next to my door.

 

 

 

Rules A real MAN should follow (Hilarious)

 

1 Don’t call, ever.
2 If you don’t like a girl, don’t tell her. It’s more fun to let her figure it out by herself.
3 Lie.
4 Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, such as “spike”.
5 If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you mailed it to them.
6 Here’s a good pickup line, “My girlfiend’s pregant, will you go out with me?”
7 Drink Vernors.
8 Play with yourself. Talk about it.
9 Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don’t want to answer, a nice grunt will do.
10 Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it isn’t your fault.
11 Lie
12 Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.
13 Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help – don’t ask. People will think you have no penis.
14 Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
15 Vanity is the most important trait for a man to have. Whenever you pass a reflective surface, check you hair, clothing, etc.
16 If you don’t like a girl, but can’t think of a good enough reason why, just come up with trite, meaningless explanations like, “I don’t know. I just don’t like her personality.”
17 If, GOD FORBID, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.
18 TWO WORDS: Hack and spit.
19 Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in urine.
20 One sure way to make a girl like you is to go after her best friend. She will then see what she’s missing and love you for not giving up on her.
21 Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to rule #1.
22 Say things like “Wha…?”
23 Don’t wear matching clothes. People will think your girlfriend picked it out, and it will cramp your style on picking up chicks.
24 Lie.
25 Deny everthing. Everything.
26 Good break up line, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
27 If you like a girl, tell all your female friends about her. Because if any of your female friends like you, they’ll really want to know.
28 Don’t have a clue.
29 If you get a clue, pretend you didn’t and disregard it.
30 No means yes.
31 Yes means no.
32 If you don’t get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel. Enforce this rule at all times.
33 If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions and locations. Improvise.
34 Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex often signifies the end of a relationship.
35 Feelings? What feelings?
36 Tell this to your girl before you have sex, “Don’t worry. If you don’t have an orgasm, you won’t get pregnant.”
37 Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at anything, either pretend it’s not true or kick some ass.
38 Gays are an unacceptable part of our society. Take it upon yourself to personally irradicate all of them from the planet.
39 DO NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed into a corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still must come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole for escape. Example: Question: “Honey, will you take me out for a romantic dinner?” Answer: “Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce each day.”
40 Every sentence that anyone says can be contorted to have sexual meaning. Do so.
41 At any given opportunity, point out how things look like various genitalia. If, by chance, you have Play-Doh, make sure you make an exact replica of your penis. Measure to make sure it’s right.
42 Lie.
43 “Love” is not in your vocabulary. don’t even think about saying it.
44 A general rule: If whatever you’re doing does not satisfy you completely in 5 minutes, it’s really not worth it.
45 Diss your girlfirend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Diss her again. Repeat cycle.
46 Lie.
47 ALWAYS apologize. NEVER mean it.
48 If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don’t.
49 Try to have a good memory, but it’s OK if you forget trivial things. You know, like your girlfriend’s b-day and eye color.
50 Ignorance solves problems. If you can’t see them, they can’t see you.
51 It is never your duty to take responsibility for your actions.
52 Create new words and phrases to describe genetalia, sex, semen, etc.
53 Complain about not getting any mail. When people FINALLY feel sorry for you and send you mail, ignore it and continue complaining.
54 Lie.
55 Play with your food only if you are in a public place with people you don’t know.
56 Play with your penis only if you are in a public place with people you don’t know.
57 If people express extreme disgust at whatever you are doing, DON’T STOP! This is the desired reaction.
58 You are NOT a virgin. Ever. Males are born without virginity.
59 You are male, therefore you are superior.
60 Agenda for a boring evening: Get beer. Drink beer. Play with yourself. Have sex. Drink more beer. Pass out.
61 Females do not care what you do to them as long as they get to please you.
62 Don’t ever notice anything.
63 If you’re going out with someone but you love someone else, don’t say anything. Wait until the girl you are going out with falls in love with YOU, and then tell her.
64 Basic fundamental rule of dating: Quantity, not quality.
65 Basic fundamental rule of sex: Quantity IS quality.
66 Lie.
67 If you cheat on a girl, but no one finds out, then technically you’ve done nothing wrong.
68 Crying is not manly. Then again, if you are a man, what do you have to cry about, anyway?
69 If the question begins with “why,” the answer is “I don’t know.”
70 Women are your napkins. Use them, and throw them away.
71 Remember, Every virgin girl is saving herself for YOU.
72 If you ever find yourself in a position where you have been proven wrong, blame others. Come up with creative and believable excuses why they are at fault-not you.
73 Don’t ever let anyone say “I told you so.” If you hear this phrase and it didn’t come out of your mouth, go ballistic.
74 If your woman makes you go shopping with her, drive around until a parking spot right near the door opens up. If this takes hours, so be it. You will have the coveted “door spot” and others will worship your skills.
75 Keep track of how many seconds in your life you have thought about sex. Compare with others.
76 Other peoples’ pain is strictly for your amusement. Laugh long and loud.
77 Lie.
78 General Rule: Different is BAD.
79 If anyone asks you for a favor- a) make a big deal about how hard it is for you to do it, b) remind them of this huge favor you’ve done for them at least every 5 minutes for the rest of their life.
80 Each penny you save will be worth at least a dollar in the long run.
81 If you do something really mean to a girl, and she doesn’t want to talk to you, pretend nothing happened. If she still doesn’t talk to you, casually ask, “is something wrong?”
82 Three words: Let’s be friends. Translation: I never want to speak to you again, but it’s bad for my nice-guy image if you are mad at me, so I’ll pretend I want to be your friend.
83 Lie.
84 If you’re on a date, and there is a lull in the conversation, tell the girl how many different dorms you’ve been laid in.
85 When you tell a girl about your past, it’s good to say, “God, I was such a pimp back then.”
86 Here’s a good trick. Tell a girl that you’re going to leave and when you come back, you want her naked, sprawled on the bed. Leave,and go into her dad’s room and tell him he should go check on his daughter. Then drive like hell. (true story.)
87 If a girl breaks up with you because you’re in love with someone else, she has no right to be upset. Because, you know, SHE’s the one who wanted to end the relationship.
88 The best sex position is you, lying face up… and twenty girls on top.
89 Practice your blank stare.
90 Spend your spare time thinking of excuses and shove them up your ass. Then, whenever you need one, you can pull it out of your ass.
91 If you ever forced to show emotion, just pick random emotions like rage and lust and insanity and display them at random, inconvenient times. You won’t be asked to do it again.
92 If you are asked to do something you REALLY DON’T want to do, first try your manly best to get out of it. If that doesn’t work, go ahead and do what you were asked to do, but complain that you don’t know how to do it and continuously ask questions on how to do each little part. If no one rushes in to do it for you YET, finish the job in the most half-assed way you possibly can and then say, “SEE?? I TOLD you I couldn’t do it.” Eventually, people will stop asking you to do things.
93 Work out day and night to make your body even more beautiful than it already is. When people ask if you’ve been working out, say things like, “No, Baby, I was BORN like this!”
94 Do not listen to “pussy music” such as Erasure, Color Me Badd, or Oldies.
95 Beer. Then more beer.
96 Scratch your balls. See if you can embarrass people.
97 One word: FOOTBALL!
98 Real men beat up others who are inferior. I mean, we don’t want the inferior of the species to get to reproduce ever, do we???
99 Diss your girl friends for an occasional night or 5 out with “The Gang”.
100 LIE.

I’m frustrated; professioally, personally and sexually.

                                                                                                                                                 

Ok, so to begin with, I am so frustrated, so very much. I am completely surrounded by my frustration, by my professional under achievements, personal woes and sexually unfulfilled. Now, let’s explore them one by one.

Professional frustration: 

                                            As a corporate slave, we compromise our social lives, our dream of being satisfied with the job we are doing and of course all the ill treatments by our superiors. And we hope that we will get paid for all those compromises. But in reality, at least in my life it’s just a farfetched dream. So I take leaves as many as possible to make my life sociable, but they all go wasted as I hardly have people around me whom I can call friends (I am far far away from my family). So I curse the job do every day and blame all my troubles on it, and I do it religiously. I try to yell at my superiors and try to give them some real hard times as much as possible, dangerously being at the sideline, where a little push can make me jobless again.

                        Still I don’t learn that any corporate slave is anything but happy and satisfied in his or her life.

Personal frustration:

                                      Well, this is the place I don’t know where to start from and where to end it. Life seems to be an ocean of troubles and problems. And problems, oh! I tell you, they are way tough and weird than calculus. Just when u feel that you got rid of one hell of a puzzle, boom! You have another jigsaw puzzle waiting for at the very next step. You solve that and again you have plenty of puzzles, troubles and issues are right there looking at you, to jump on you. What am I? A troubleshooting machine? A crazy genius who hates all the fun and only find it amusing to fix all the issues in life?

                                                                                                                                 Everything in my life seems to be a problem, let it be the ‘family expectation’, ‘ambition in life’, ‘desires I cherish’ or the ‘love of my life’. Every one of them falls apart in regular interval and I just see them falling apart so helplessly.

                                                                                                                                                                                Yet, I refuse to see what life has given me. The minutes of happiness rather than the hours of sorrows, which is an equation of ‘happiness/sorrows’ = 1.

Sexual frustration:

                                 Now, now, all the ladies who are prejudiced about sex or just want to read this section to criticize me or the whole male community by saying we are perverts and sexual predators, please!! BACK OFF!!!!!

                                          Sometimes I feel like it’s a curse to be an Indian, where you are legally and socially eligible to have sex only after marriage. It’s just too much for me. I am a normal 20 something guy whose ‘dojo’ shouts and screams at him every day to get him a ‘cat’(Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?). Hell, I am in need girls to fulfill my sexual need, to have a blowjob, to play dirty games, to have sexual intercourse. But, alas! An open-minded girl friend in India is like searching the lamp of genie.

           Hell, still I keep forgetting, when I am the man, when it was just my time……

Life ‘is’ difficult

Why, I mean why, life has to be so difficult??

Why can’t it be simple? You know, simple in the sense the we should get our expectations fulfilled, of course I am not saying that unusual and extraordinary expectations (some thing like a wish to become king Midas( though he repented it afterwords)) should be fulfilled, but the normal, simple wishes of human kind can be and should be granted (granted by whom?? ).

I am disturbed (of course I am, else no fool will be awake in the midnight, 12:30am to be specific, and will be writing all these so-called nonsense,’ so called I wrote’)

Now, what am I to do? Wish I wish, how much I wish, that I had the power to change the way of the world, at least i really want to do that for me. If this world is a cruel place to live, I want to live in mars, or Jupiter or Pluto( poor guy recently been stripped off from his title as planet, don’t you worry boy, I’m coming). Now behind all these little clueless talk, all I want to say that our lives which are really really complicated, should be  simplified. I know what people will say, they will say it’s in the hand individuals to make things and life simpler. But no, not anymore. I am sure about that, no matter what way human kind will try to make their life’s simple and nice, the wont be succeeded. I never deny the point that human themselves has brought this situation upon them and now we are at the mercy of mother nature and hoping so much that she at least wont abandon us

I’ve learned this from the situation of mine, and I am urging you all to start the process of making your life simple and beautiful. because anything that is complex and difficult are always somewhat ugly!

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It’s quite late at night

Right under the open sky

So many events in my life

Has invited me

That’s why I’m sitting here, on the other side of the door.

In such a emotional night

If she comes this way by mistake

And goes back without meeting me

That’s why I am sitting here, on the other side of the door.

You walk away in that path

In this cold sweet breeze

My heart cries, because it couldn’t reach to you

That’s why I am sitting here; I am sitting here, on the other side of the door.

It’s quite late at night

Right under the open sky

So many events in my life

Has invited me

That’s why I’m sitting here, on the other side of the door.

I’m not that strong

I’m not strong. I’m not that strong, I realized it today, and the feeling is quite hard on me. Always thought i m stronger, tougher and a hard nut to crack, but seems like the nut is already cracked. I don’t know what is happening to me and how i am been able to admit my weakness so openly, publically.

Guess that what my age has done to me. Am i getting old?? May be i am. But whatever it is, I am hating it with all my heart and hardly anybody can imagine how eager I am to get back to my old days. Some body told me that everything is going to be fine, all it needs is a little time. But i am getting all restless here, and i am scared, very scared. Ohh hell!!!, what is happening to me, why am i speaking like this???

Ani, the great ‘Ani’, is this the end of him???

It can’t be. May be i am weak for a while, may be i am a little old, may be i am going through a tough time which might have made me a little soft, but hey, this Ani is always a fighter, a veteran soldier who pulled off almost all the battle he fought. For win or loss, for better or for worse, Ani will fight, he always fights against all the odds.

So world!!! beware, You can love me, you can hate me, but you can’t ignore me. And you bet, I’ll find my way through the battle

Fate, you can use all your weapon on me, this fighter will either win or he’ll die….

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Hiia there, hmm, so I am back again, with another crappy diary note I believe

OK, so lets start with a quote here

“i wish he knew better english!”

Now the ‘he’  mentioned here is this humble ‘me’ –> ‘ani’ and……. ‘I’, well I is some one whose identity can not be reveled at this point of time, may be later…

Well, now people, I know what you are thinking, you are thinking that those words really really hurt me or did make me upset and that’s why I am writing this diary note after quite a while in this blog.

Hmm, now I can’t say you are entirely wrong, I did get hurt, but not because somebody thinks that i m poor learner of a language (of course, i never learned my mother tongue properly, now if you want to see me as a foreign language scholar you are in fool’s heaven.), but because that person has followed and criticized my language but was unable to comprehend the sweetness and feelings behind those words……

Now, now, now, m I expecting too much? well I may be. But what to do, I’m like that.

OK, let’s get back to the old story,  my situation and condition of my life, how is it??? ans, as usual, and it’s getting worse. And the funny thing is, i don’t know what to do, I have no idea how to change and make my situation or condition better. I have already taken an oath, or you can say half oath and also i dream big. Now i know, and it’s true that ‘patience pays off’.

I’m not optimistic, I knew this from the day I actually came to my senses, but then i know about my life and the way it flows.

Hence, i deny to surrender and accept any kind of defeat. Fighting with my fate and tagged as a loser??? Well, let it be, cause this loser gives a ‘daymere’ to all those winners out there..

‘Daymere’, I am loving this word and for this, I’m ready again to hear “i wish he knew better english!”…   🙂

cheers, cya….

I LOVE YOU

Morning, when I open my eyes, I love you

Day when I am at work, I love you

Midday when I take a break, I love you

Afternoon, when I start for home, I love you

 

Evening when I sit on my porch, I love you

Night, when I close my eyes, I love you

Midnight, when I wake up dreaming, I love you

Dawn when the birds twitter, I love you

 

How will make you believe, I love you

How do I show you, I really really do

How should let you know, I miss you

How may I say, I do, do love you.

 

This heart of mine is still waiting for you

To hear from you, that you love me too

All I can say, baby, let me through

In your heart, where its says, ‘I love you too’.

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Here I lie
In a lost and lonely part of town
Held in time
In a world of tears I slowly drown

Going home
I just can’t make it all alone
I really should be holdin’ you, holdin’ you
Lovin’ you, lovin’ you

Tragedy
When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and you don’t know why
It’s hard to bear
With no one to love you you’re going nowhere

Tragedy
When you lose control and you got no soul
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and you don’t know why
It’s hard to bear
With no one beside you, you’re going nowhere

Night and day
There’s a burnin’ down inside of me
Oh, burnin’ love
With a yearnin’ that won’t let me be

Down I go
And I just can’t take it all alone
I really should be holdin’ you, holdin’ you
Lovin’ you, lovin’ you

Tragedy
When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and you don’t know why
It’s hard to bear
With no one to love you, you’re going nowhere

Tragedy
When you lose control and you got no soul
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and you don’t know why
It’s hard to bear
With no one beside you, you’re going nowhere

Tragedy
When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and you don’t know why
It’s hard to bear
With no one to love you, you’re going nowhere

Tragedy
When you lose control and you got no soul
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and your heart goes by
It’s hard to bear
With no one beside you, you’re going nowhere

Tragedy
When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and you don’t know why
It’s hard to bear
With no one to love you, you’re going nowhere

Tragedy
When you lose control and you got no soul
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and your heart goes by
It’s hard to bear
With no one beside you, you’re going nowhere

Tragedy
When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on
It’s tragedy
When the morning cries and you don’t know why
It’s hard to bear
With no one to love you, you’re going nowhere

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I gotta lay low

The time is not right…..

I got to lay low…

Just for a few days…………..

hmmm..

Ohhkk… So after a long interval i am back again to honor this blog. So….

Why I was shying away from writing anything in my blog or to be precise in my online diary?? Hmm, Man was I busy??? Hell no…. I was having enough time to juts put at least an entry here.

But I did not do…

Well, Lemme tell you the truth, lets face it guys.. I mean let me face it… I m so so depressed, lately nothing seems all right. I’m calling home again and again and whining to mom and dad that i am so so so down and under. But all they got is a VALID QUESTION… Why are you so???

And i don’t have the answer…. Or…. May be I’ve and simply don’t want to tell them.

Well well well… seems like all the happiness is just drifting away from me, from my life.

Hell I never wanted to lead a life like this, but again… What can I do,  to fight and win with my fate.

Guess for today, this much is enough.. Gotta get up early tomorrow… I have ***** office at 5.30 am

Any way… Chao then..

JAI HO

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Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
Words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me that you’ll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever baby

I don’t wanna be lonely no more
I don’t wanna have to pay for this
I don’t want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don’t wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don’t want to be lonely anymore

Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it’s harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything; just to get you back again
Why can we just try

I don’t wanna be lonely no more
I don’t wanna have to pay for this
I don’t want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don’t wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don’t want to be lonely anymore

What if I was good to you, what if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise, what if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you

I don’t wanna be lonely no more
I don’t wanna have to pay for this
I don’t want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don’t wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don’t want to be lonely anymore

I don’t wanna be lonely anymore

confused soul……….. and sad too

Whattodo whattodo

I am on the verge of breaking up. I don’t know why and when this time will pass and i will regain my old form, have a doubt weather i will be able to or not?????

Sound so depressing i know, but in this condition ‘am just asking one thing to me, TO BE, OR , NOT TO BE.

Never thought life will show me so many phases.

Yeah i know, ‘How much a man can whine???’ right?

I donno whattodo, i donno whattodo…………

Diary of the Day (Night?)

Well, in my watch it is 1.27 am in the night, did not go to office today… reason??

I don’t know exactly. all it seems is that i m kind of emotionally imbalanced to attend my boring office work.

Actually it’s been a while that I m in such mood, in such condition. why?

Well it is too open a place to discuss or explain.

But I guess that’s not the point, the point is…

I have already been through such situations. Then why m i so vulnerable still??

I guess I m still not tough enough to handle lots of thing in life. I want to be a complete man yeah.. but nobody is perfect, and i can not be ‘nobody’.

i had no idea that i would start this blog with topic, but then again , life is so unpredictable and mysterious. so…

Let it be

Anyway….. Signing off for today i mean for tonight… ciao

P.S: And please, blog viewers, please leave your comments…….